6 Months Later

Six months has passed. 

Why didn't I write for 6 months? Because I realized that I was not writing for myself, but for someone else that didn't need to read that anymore.

Why am I writing again? That's what I hope I'll find out writing this. Maybe now I'll write for myself. Or maybe I'm still writing for her. or HIM. Or maybe it's just the bloody jetlag. Probably.

Yeah about HIM: I never found him really. I always felt he was a step forward. Or maybe it was me being always a step behind. Or maybe it was both, in that case we are now two steps distant.

And I do feel this two steps. I thought that this time was the right time, I thought I was gonna catch HIM. But I never felt further than I do right now. I'll keep looking, not sure this is the right place anymore.

But since I got no choice I can't help but keep walking.

Well let's see if I can quickly recall the streets I walked in the last 6 months, if I don't know where I am I definetly cannot know where to go, right?


In April I took some time off to re-organize my plans. A very important person came to visit and helping me recover. During that time, I forgot what I was looking for. Time will tell if it was because that's when I actually got closer to HIM.

So we visited places, like the lake city of Hangzhou :

 There's a Chinese legend that says that the 3 small towers in the lake will light like fire one night every year

 This is Longjin willage, where the best Chinese Green tea is made

 One kite slowly falling in the like as the sun is going down. (you don't say?)

     Following 3 pics of Hangzhou's lake

This is the Yu garden tample in shanghai. And no, it's not snow, it's pollution.

             Old town of Qingbo next to Shanghai

And we ate things:

Basic Ramen Noodles

Follows 3 specialties of Hangzhou's market, starting with pinapple rice

Fried crabs on a stick

An entire chicken in a clay box....

Snack in Old Town

...sa di panettone...

Xiaolongbao!!

Hotpot. It needs description: Hotpot is a chinese way of eating in which one person decides which soup he likes and then he orders few raw things which he will cook himself in his own pot. It's delicious and fun.

We just had the best time ever.

After that I kind of lost my motivation in finding HIM. It didn't felt that important any more. I just found some more pictures of HIM with kids:

  I wonder if they would still recognize HIM after all this time...


So I moved back  to Italy and Scotland during the summer.

Guess which is which 

It felt good, it felt right.

So why am I back here then? Why I felt like I had to look for HIM again? Because that's what happened, I left everything and came back, for HIM.

Can't really say if that was a good idea. Maybe with time I'll realize it was. Or maybe not, maybe it was just a bad idea and time will only remind me of that.

All I know is that now it doesn't feel good at all. I started this to find what I'm lacking, and I find myself now thinking I just lost what I was looking for.

So now I'm here, lone as I deserve to be, in the city of gambles and promises, where the first are never won and the second never kept.

And I'd better make this fuckin' worth it.